For all you Degreeinsitas attention for all your time earning your 'degree' may actually come in handy. If you don't know, I have an honorary PhD from Knox College. That degree allows me to do physicals in the mens restrooms and allows me to perform surgery (but, apparently the patinentistas say that I need to have a sterile room to remove a heart to see if it is not soiled like our cultural values) and even cure cancer. As soon as I get
cancer, I'll be sure to cure myself. With tears of justice.
Regardless, Knox College invited former president Bill Clinton to give a speech to the graduating class. I said that I would burn my degree if he did, and I tried! It's ... made of metal. Actually, it's quite sharp so I tried throwing it at a likeness of Bill Clinton. My rage is not satisfied!
This is for all you HEROES. Figure out a way for me to show some form of rebellion against Knox College and I will be sure test it out on an intern first.
Tags: stephen colbert